2019 has been the most challenging year for me and we are ONLY five months in.
When so much has happened to you emotionally, everything else becomes secondary and then you lose yourself by drowning in your emotions.
Most will say oh its going to be okay or oh walk around and do something.
IT IS NOT EASY!
Losing my uncle and two of my cousins back to back was VERY difficult for me to handle. I felt like I was not going to be able to push myself to go on and continue being the selfless person I am. I lost myself because the bad news did not stop. I drowned with barely anyone to save me.
I looked around for support and I seen a few familiar faces but they were going through the same thing I was going through. All the anger and frustration made me want to quit. One day I went to the museum and it was an amazing experience. So much art and creative ideas in one place.
As soon as I was feeling the grove again, I fell right back out of it. Fell right back into this thing called funk.
If you are reading this and think this is complaining about life or any other BS just STOP HERE!
I realized I was feeling discouraged because of people who I thought supported me didn’t and the people I was expecting to check on me and be there didn’t either. I think the issue with most people in the world is that WE expect A LOT from people that wouldn’t even call to say “Hey, How are you?”
RIGHT! Trying not to tear up right now, I am pushing through. Pushing through without the ones who gave up on me. Pushing through the drama and the crap that happens. Pushing through to be a better me and a stronger me. A mindset that many people may say is foolish, but I say it’s called GROWTH!
Be Beautiful, Stay Positive, Keep Growing.